I Have Tasted the Face of Shrek, and Found It… Slimy?

There’s a new swamp treat at Universal Studios Orlando’s newly opened Dreamworks Land and it pays homage to Shrek in the weirdest, most unhinged way. It’s a pretzel in the shape of Mike Myers’ ogre face inspired by the hit fairytale parody franchise—a “Shrekzel,” as it’s become known online by theme park foodies—and we had to get it.

See, part of the job of a theme park correspondent is to try the synergy-driven treats and drinks rolled out to tie into the movies and television. We’ve tried the good and the bad—whether it’s a Star Wars ration, Halloween Horror Nights spooky treata Muppets Lab green pickle milkshake (hundred yard stare)and in this case, the Shrekzel… which comes complete with green ear slime cheese as pictured below. Brace yourself for a jump scare:

It’s so disturbing to look at because you start to wonder if Donkey went on an ogre massacre (ogre-ssacre?) after snapping one day, and Dragon went all Mrs. Lovett from Sweeney Todd with him. It astoundingly looks like the peeled face of beloved hero and dad Shrek! Did things go all House of the Dragon? Seriously, it’s like they deep-fried the ogre’s face and dipped it in the ear wax. Where are Fiona and the children? Did the Greens lose?

Canon speculation aside, the Shrekzel is the size of a mask, as you can see. As for that green slime cheese accompaniment, it was was a relief to discover it had more of a milky consistency than plastic neon green cheese—but it did look a bit like the pea-colored snot you get from being really sick. If you don’t think about it too hard, it’s good for theme park cheese, making the salted pretzel slimy yet satisfying.

Overall, the Shrekzel is your standard baked amusement park fare—and don’t worry, it doesn’t taste like onions at all, though Dreamworks Land should consider adding a variant with the flavor to honor Shrek’s emotional layers. Though one person could finish it, it’s definitely the kind of theme-park snack made for sharing; at Universal Studios Florida, where there’s so many cinematic themed foods, you don’t want to just fill up on bread. Leave room for the many other fun treats around the park too, like the desserts at the Summer Blockbuster tribute store inspired by movies like Back to the Future, E.T., and Jaws. We didn’t get to try those thanks to Shrek’s deep fried face, but next time we’ll be sure to eat E.T.

The vibe of the Shrekzel is deranged and worth getting for the imagery alone. It fits the unserious parody nature of the franchise, as a nightmarish-looking alternative to the cute mouse face pretzels at the other Orlando parks. Find the Shrekzel and more cinematic treats at Universal Studios Orlando this summer!

Want more io9 news? Check out when to expect the latest Marvel, Star Warsand Star Trek releases, what’s next for the DC Universe on film and TVand everything you need to know about the future of Doctor Who.